For those of you interested in my ongoing saga of the HH's woes, here is the syrupy sweet letter I received from Randall "I'm SO Patronizing I'm Sickening" the Administrative Committee Secretary. When you finish you may be under the impression that I am a six-year-old child and not a forty-year-old woman. I assure you that this was a false assumption on Randall's part.
For those of you who'd rather not venture here, you may click back to today's previous post. But you'll have to scroll all the way down to the bottom because I don't feel like creating a link here. : )
Greetings diane
Thank you for your letter detailing the impact of the HH ministry to prisoners. All that you shared was excellent for us and information that I doubt anyone around the International Offices knew. We were pleased that you took the time to make that report available to us and we certainly had a much greater appreciation for this ministry and your work. There is so much that can be done in the harvest and prisons are high on the list.(* Yes, let's just see how high on their list it is!*)
After reviewing your report the committee was faced with the question of continuing with the decision that had been made some months ago to suspend the production of the HH or not. I believe you and J know some of the anguish when trying to reduce spending and at the same time support wonderful ministries. We certainly felt this today.
Free Literature, the source of support for the HH, has never recovered from the drastic decrease of funding in the days since our financial system church wide changed.(*Let me insert here the fact that the $100,000 that was here was taken by the men on this committee and infused into their budgets 2 years ago because they continuously overspend.*) Right now if we continue with the HH that will continue to absorb the single greatest segment of the Free Literature budget.
Also today Free Literature is highly dependent on the Ministry Support Offering to receive supplement to carry out its functions around the world. You might know that this fund is also the source for special funding for every other ministry involved in evangelism, training, and printing. So the pot is small and the mouths to feed are many.(*Have you noticed that he is able to write without the use of any punctuation, other than periods?*)
Then we considered the fact that the HH was not the first or only ministry to be suspended from Free Literature�s work. The trimming down activities have been ongoing for several years as the Free Literature challenge has persisted for some time. Those ministries were not released because they were not viable or vital. I know you realize this, and the same is the case with the HH. (*I am curious what these other ministries were which were "suspended." I've been around a long time and to my knowledge there are exactly zero.*)
Ultimately we agree with you that the HH is a terrific resource for those involved in prison ministry in the church. Especially after your report there was little doubt about its ministering ability. We simply could not find support any longer in the Free Literature budget or in the Ministry Support supplements. That is sad, but a reality we face more often.
(*"Yes, it's terrific, but none of us will return the money we stole from you."*)
We want to use the word suspend as opposed to end or stop for a reason. (*I enjoy that term much better than "we've dropped you like a hot potato."*) If a donor or several came forward today or in six months that wanted to support a jail ministry instrument like the HH, we would be thrilled to keep this going or start the presses anew. (*First of all, if somebody donates a huge sum of money for this cause I'm not messing with you guys, and secondly, you have no presses because you "suspended" them, too.*) I know that might become a point of prayer for you and others.
So diane we appreciate even more today what you have been doing in this ministry, touching many lives behind bars. We have all groaned in private moments of prayer asking God why the resources seem so small when the harvest opportunities are greater every day. (*"Groaned?" Is that word supposed to make what he's saying believable?*) We don�t have that answer, but we have every confidence that God has his purposes in this as in everything(*Interpret this to read, "Actually, God likes us better than He likes you and that is why we have all the money.*)
Perry the Political Animal (*who is hiding behind this "committee" decision*) will also be communicating with you in the days to come. (*Please add, "as will we all since you ratted on us to the Big Cheese."*) Every member of the committee will want to shake your hand and thank you for the contributions of heart and spirit you have made to this less visible ministry. (*This is perhaps the most patronizing paragraph ever crafted. I LOL'ed as I read it. Shake my hand? Let's get real!*)
On the personal side Bess and I would love to see you and your family. They have all grown so much that we would have trouble recognizing who is who.(*Yes, since we visited approximately 3 times in our entire 9 years of living in the same town.*) We have come to love Lillian much like you folks did I am sure. She was so precious to care for Brett and love him like a grandson.(*He speaks of her in past tense because he and Bess used her up until she broke down. Come on, how long can any 80 year old watch your uber-brat while the two of you travel to such ministry-hungry sites as Aruba and the Caymans?*) And she did that for your children for years as well. (*Not quite, because we actually enjoy time with our children, and also because we aren't the type of people to take advantage of frail old ladies.*) May you all be blessed in your life and ministry in Brad Pitt's hometown.
With Sincere Thanks, (*Yeah, I'm buying that.*)
Randall "the oozing with sugary sweetness" Administrative Committee Secretary
Randall's description on The Crew list will read thusly: He constantly speaks with the voice of a game show host, very enunciated and deliberate and deep. It is quite annoying. He also has lots of hair that hasn't moved out of place since it was positioned there in the early 80's.